Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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