Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
dude. I can hear the air.
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