Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
