What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize