You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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