I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
