New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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