Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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