planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
