So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Boobs speak an international language.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
