So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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