So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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