It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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