Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
