so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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