Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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