the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
