I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
