is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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