Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
