He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
