I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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