I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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