I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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