i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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