I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
