this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize