Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
