why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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