I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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