How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
