Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
