ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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