i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
