Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
