I wannas sexs uuuuu
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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