Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize