I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
