super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I should be sponsored by Trojan
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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