im six kinds of drunk right now
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
