woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize