this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
