:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
