The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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