Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
