its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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