Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
