summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
honey bunches of taint.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
