i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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