Got a toothbrush?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
