One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
