can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize