mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
