A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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