They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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