well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
