ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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