Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize