The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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