p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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