Christians are straight up FREAKS
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
