I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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