I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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