I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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