Please, let me fuck your mom
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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