Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
